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Debbie Weil's avatar

Alexis, I think I saw your HuffPo piece when it came out. Huge congrats!! Such a difficult thing to write about. I've lived it with my 93yo dad's looong decline (he died one year ago). I wrote about it here on Substack, tho never considered a more "public" venue for such an essay. My sibs don't agree with my feelings and get very angry when I express them. Ugh.

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Alexis Mera Damen's avatar

Thanks, Debbie! I'm sorry for your loss... was it also a bit of a relief in the end? I'm hoping it will be when the time comes. Having my essay published in HuffPost was exciting and also terrifying (as you probably read in this post). It was also my first ever published personal essay (aside from some of the gibberish I publish here on Substack haha!). I was afraid my family would be upset, but they weren't. I was also worried that everyone I know in real life would judge me... But fuck it. Of course, no one did, and also, I kept reminding myself that it's my story to tell. I noticed you have a section on grief and have been meaning to peruse. Thank you for reading! Always happy to connect over this very difficult topic. The long goodbye SUCKS!

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Debbie Weil's avatar

Alexis, I'd love to connect!

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Alexis Mera Damen's avatar

Would be happy to! Wanna DM me?

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Asia Dawn's avatar

That was a beautiful piece 💛 My heart hurt reading it. That must have been so hard on you. Good job getting it into HuffPost. It’s going to touch a lot of hearts & help a lot of people.

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Alexis Mera Damen's avatar

Thanks, Asia! I appreciate your sweet comment. <3

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Shelby Tutty, MHA's avatar

Both this article and the one in the Huffpost paint such a clear picture of the struggles of dealing with our family's health. Although realistically, you know that your Mom is in the best place for her situation, it's so easy to blame ourselves for doing the things we need to do to keep our loved ones safe. Alexis, you're a caring daughter, and your Mom feels blessed to have you. You're making difficult decisions on her behalf, but always in her best interest.

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Alexis Mera Damen's avatar

Thanks, Shelby. That means a lot. Thanks for checking out the essay and for your thoughtful comment here. 💜

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Good Humor by CK Steefel's avatar

Congrats! Well done! I have a feeling the piece will be widely read given the multitudes of families struggling with Alzheimers.

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Alexis Mera Damen's avatar

Thank you! Yes, I hope it reaches many. 💜

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Lee Bacon's avatar

Congratulations! That’s huge! Just the first of many articles, I’m guessing.

My grandmother had Alzheimer’s, and I’ve also seen it with parents of friends. Such a brutal process. And the fact that it is drawn out over YEARS. It’s great that you have this outlet to write about it and share your experience with others.

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Alexis Mera Damen's avatar

Thank you! I'm feeling excited and accomplished! And yes, it is brutal, indeed! Lot's of anticipatory grief, which sucks. The writing outlet has helped for sure! I'm sorry about your grandmother.

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Edie Morgan's avatar

Yay! This is so fantastic. Congratulations! I was right there with you on that trip to FL and moving in with her and then leaving her that first time. Well written, well told, well done! I hope this is helping you in your grief as it is helping others to read your experience.

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Alexis Mera Damen's avatar

Thanks for your support, Edie! Writing has been very helpful for processing everything, and touching other people, too, is the cherry on top! I imagine the feeling is similar for you! 💜

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Raksha Daryanani Thani's avatar

Oh Alexis, this is precious. You took sadness and transformed it into something else. Would it be awkward to say I'm proud of you? I hope more essays follow ❤️

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Alexis Mera Damen's avatar

Hey, Raksha! Not awkward at all. I appreciate your kind words and pride. ;) I hope more essays soon, too! <3

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Cassie Wilkins's avatar

1) It's such a great article! I know we've talked about it already but ahh, congrats! So proud of you - especially as it's such an important topic 🥳

2) oof I feel this. The blob of grief is so real. I feel it like black paint, like some days I can avoid the black paint for a bit and all the other colours feel brighter for it but then other times it just kinda seeps in and makes everything dull and murky. I'm happy to be working through it all with a therapist too, so yay go us! 😹

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Alexis Mera Damen's avatar

1 - Thanks so much! Appreciate you taking the time to read it and tell me your thoughts. <3

2 - That's right, yay, go us! Fuck the blob! Haha. But there are some silver linings too... it's so complicated! Xxx

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