Should I become a barista?

Maybe!

For my 39th birthday, my friends got me a home barista course at Monks Café, a popular spot here in Amsterdam. I finally went to the course this week, my birthday was in September. The owner teaches the course every Monday at 4 pm. I was the only student. He brought me to a room in the back of the café. I sat on a stool at a large wooden table while he stood on the opposite side—in front of the machines—explaining where coffee comes from, how much you need to grind for one two espresso shots (you should always make two at a time), how long the water should flow through, and so on.

Nice guy, from Ireland. He had piercings up and down his ears, and black tattoos decorated his arms. He wore a black t-shirt, glasses, denim shorts, Nike sneakers, and his hair was grey. My guess is he’s in his late 50s to early 60s. He told me he has lived in Amsterdam for 12 years and is married to a Dutch woman, and asked me where I’m from and how long I’ve been here. New York and six years this fall.

You need 18 to 20g of coffee for two espresso shots, and the water should flow through it for 27 to 30 seconds. If it takes much longer, it’s ground too fine, and if it goes too fast, it’s too coarse. He made one espresso shot for me to taste and explained how I should taste it. First on the tip of my tongue, then the sides of my mouth, then my throat. I don’t remember the exact order now, but he said it should taste bitter, sweet, and chocolatey, depending on what part of your mouth it’s in.

Next, he showed me how to measure and steam the milk. You need 150g for a single-shot cappuccino. Hold your hand on the bottom of the metal beaker, and as soon as it’s too hot to touch, it’s ready. He showed me how to pour the steamed milk. First, pour a drop into the coffee, swirl it around until it mixes. Then pour more milk, moving your hand in a circle to distribute it evenly. But always keep the milk moving after it’s steamed. Last step, rest the milk beaker on the side of the cup, with your other hand, tilt the cup slightly toward you, pour fast until you see a dot, then quickly lift the beaker to create a heart.

I made five cappuccinos, and my latte art improved with each pour. He told me I’m a natural at making the coffee and steaming the milk, and that the latte art part just requires practice. He said next time I stop by, say hello, and come behind the counter to make coffee for customers to see how it feels. It’s tempting, and I’m sure the experience would give me a new appreciation for baristas, but I’m not sure if his customers will like my dick jokes.