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Lindsey Smith's avatar

This is so beautifully written; I love the imagery of the brownie batter and the symbolism of a mother’s love. So touching.

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Alexis Mera Damen's avatar

Thanks, Lindsey! Appreciate you taking the time to read it and comment. I never realized what the brownies symbolized until I was prompted to write this essay. It explains why I’ve been craving them so much in the last ~6 months. <3

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Kaila Krayewski's avatar

What a beautiful, tragic and heartfelt post. I'm so sorry Alexis, it must be so hard to experience that role reversal so starkly. Do you have brothers/sisters who can step in while you're in Amsterdam?

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Alexis Mera Damen's avatar

Thanks, Kaila! It is tough, but also bittersweet. Like I’m glad to have these small moments, too (even though they sometimes feel absurd). My brother lives nearby, so that’s great. I still want to visit as much as possible, of course. :) Thank you for reading!

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Kaila Krayewski's avatar

Oh good, that's reassuring!

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Debbie Weil's avatar

Alexis, heartbreaking and so beautifully written. I’m realizing now that my mom, who died two years ago, at 92, had been slipping into dementia for several years prior. Of course, in my family we couldn’t talk about that… tx for a lovely and important piece.

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Alexis Mera Damen's avatar

Thanks, Debbie, for your note and reading. Writing about it is helping a bit with the heartbreak. <3 Sorry to hear about your mom, it's just such an awful disease to experience and witness.

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Shelby Tutty, MHA's avatar

I bet it feels somewhat out of body for you to try to reconcile the bridge between your mother then and now. The brownies seem to be the portal of time between the two. I can understand that.

I also have a sweet story about making brownies but it's with my older sister. It was our thing we used to do together when everyone else had gone to bed. It's something I try to do with my kids because like I said it brings me back to a childhood time when life was different. So much has changed but that box of Betty Crocker brownie mix has stayed the same all these years (the actual box. I can tell the ingredients have changed or my taste buds have 🤣).

Keep making those brownies. Keep your mother's best memories alive.

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Alexis Mera Damen's avatar

Thanks, Shelby! That’s also a sweet story about you and your sister. How cute. I’ve found a boxed brownie brand here in the NL. It does the job! Hahaha.

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Albert's avatar

What a great well written piece. I get to know my own daughter better and better. I admire your personal courage and commitment to take care of you mom.

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Alexis Mera Damen's avatar

Thanks, dad! 😘

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Maggie Jon's avatar

I can imagine this must hurt. I'm sorry this is happening.

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Alexis Mera Damen's avatar

It is indeed! Writing about it is helping though. Thanks for your sweet words. ❤️

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Diana Spechler's avatar

Beautiful.

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Alexis Mera Damen's avatar

Thanks! Your feedback was so helpful!

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